


Someone Else's Villain

by PuckLuck



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Awesome Howling Commandos, Awesome Sam Wilson, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America Steve Rogers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Character Death, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Flashbacks, Hydra (Marvel), Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Original Character(s), Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, SHIELD, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Story within a Story, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Swearing, Therapy, Violence, War, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuckLuck/pseuds/PuckLuck
Summary: “When we're young, we're taught the difference between a hero and a villain — good and evil, a savior and a lost cause, but what if the truth is that the only difference is who's telling the story?” - Hope MikaelsonNot every story goes the way the fates planned it. People who should have survived, die and people who should have died, survive. Not everyone has a happy story, and some people become the villain of the story, but sometimes the villain of that story is just a victim whose story was never told. Well, I’m done being the villain of this story.My name is Katrijn Von Berg and this is my story. The story of how I should have died, then I did die. How I went from being the hero of the story to the villain, because the only true difference between those two is in who’s telling the story.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Sam Wilson (Marvel) & Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for clicking on my story. This is an idea I've had for awhile and I finally decided to put this story to text. I have put warnings for this story in the tags, but I wanted to make one big post before anyone reads this story. The last thing I want to do is accidently trigger a reader. If I have missed any potential triggers you think I need, please let me know and I can put them in the tags. 
> 
> WARNINGS: This is a story that takes place during the deadliest war in history. There will be violence depicted within the pages of this book. Along with violence, profanity and death will be present in this story. Secondly, this story is set in the 1940's, a time where it was difficult to be anything other than a straight, white man. Difficult topics including racism, sexism, and xenophobia will be addressed in this book. This type of ideology was wrong then and is wrong now. I am in no way condoning this ideology, but in order to make this story realistic these topics must be addressed. Additionally the character this story follows struggles with PTSD, alcoholism, survivor's guilt, and suicidal thoughts. If there is any chance any of these topics make you uncomfortable, please continue at your own risk.

Sam Wilson sat at a table outside a small cafe in the heart of Washington D.C. He was waiting for someone to meet him to go over some files. To kill some time until the person arrived, Sam scrolled through his emails, marking some as important deleting others. He finished his blueberry muffin and brushed off some crumbs that landed on his shirt. The man went to take a drink from his coffee, only pausing when he saw the person he was waiting for. 

Steve Rogers was a hard man to miss. He took up space in a room, even when all he wanted to do was hide in the corner. He tried not to draw attention to himself, but everyone knew who he was now. Everyone could recognize his blonde hair and baby blue eyes, that when the sun hit them just right showed flecks of green. Sam recognized him right away, even with the blue ball cap and sunglasses. However, he did not recognize the woman walking a step behind Steve. 

Sam was pretty sure he would remember meeting the woman walking with Steve. The woman had dirty blonde hair, and it looked like there were streaks of red in it when the sun hit it just right. Her hair was positioned just a way in her hat that partially covered her face, so Sam couldn’t get a good look at her face. Steve turned slightly to say something that caused the woman to laugh. 

“Over here Steve,” Sam called, waving to the super-soldier. 

“Hey Sam,” Steve said as he and the woman walked up to the table Sam claimed.

Now that the woman was standing closer to Sam, he got a better look at her. She wasn’t much shorter than Steve, which was saying something. The woman had freckles splashed across her sun-kissed face. It looked like she spent a lot of her time outdoors. Sam looked at her face and was drawn to her eyes. They were a bright, crystal blue and it looked like they held the world in them. It made Sam both drawn too and terrified of her. 

“Oh,” Steve said, finally realizing he never introduced Sam and the woman, “This is Kate-”

“Katrijn. You know how I feel about that Stevie,” the woman -Katrijn- interrupted. 

“Katrijn Von Berg. She’s offered to help us look for Bucky.” 

It was then that Sam realized this woman was a friend of Steve’s. A friend he made well before Sam was born. A friend from the 1940s. This woman was another part of Steve’s past still alive, she was also very familiar. Sam just couldn’t place it. While he was lost in thought, Steve and Katrijn took a seat, then Steve pulled a couple of files from his bag and placed them on the table. Sam then realized why the name Katrijn Von Berg sounded so familiar. 

In 1983, American and SHIELD spy, Katrijn Von Berg, was convicted of treason. It was discovered she had been selling classified information to Soviet government officials, during the heat of the Cold War. It was a wonder the Soviets never attacked America with that information, that was something Sam always questioned when learning about her in school. Katrijn was declared dead three weeks after the conviction, but her body was never found. Sam, like everyone else, thought Katrijn was dead, but here she was, standing right in front of him. 

“Aren’t you a traitor to the country?” Sam blurted out. 

“So that’s the lie they’re telling about me now. Sam, I’m sure you’re a very smart man, given the things Steve has told me about you, so I’m sure you put together Steve and me have known each other for a while if you know what I mean. I’m just surprised that wasn’t the first thing you said. Instead, you’re here calling me a traitor,” Katrijn said. 

“Um..uh,” Sam stumbled over his words. 

Steve started laughing as he watched his friend get flustered. He knew Katrijn was messing with Sam. She was well aware of the things the United States government said about her since her apparent death in 1983. He was just as surprised that Sam didn’t ask any questions about Katrijn as she was. He knew Sam was smart and most likely figured out the connection between Katrijn and himself, that was why he didn’t bother fully introducing them. 

“Could you maybe not laugh at me?” Sam finally asked, “You don’t have any more friends still kicking from the 40s I should know about, do ya?”

“I’m assuming Peggy doesn’t count,” Katrijn smirked. 

“Oh, so it’s gonna be like that.”

“I like him, why didn’t you introduce us sooner, Stevie?” Katrijn asked and pointed at Sam. 

“To be fair, up until a week ago I thought you were dead, and stop calling me Stevie,” Steve said. 

“Fair enough.”

“Can we please focus, now that you two are introduced,” Steve said, trying to get everyone on track. 

“Right, we have a ghost to find.” 

The men explained to Katrijn the information they already had on Bucky Barnes. Katrijn was flipping through the folder Natasha gave Steve a month and a half ago. The stuff she read made her stomach churn. No person should be forced to endure the kinds of things HYDRA put Bucky through. The man spent the last nearly seventy years as a brainwashed assassin for a terrorist organization. He quite literally went through hell. 

“He might be going after some remaining HYDRA bases,” Sam said. 

“No, he wouldn’t,” Katrijn interrupted, causing both men to look at her. 

“What makes you say that, Kate?” Steve asked. 

“The stuff Bucky went through, it damages a person. He'd just be trying to find himself, to heal. He wouldn’t be looking for revenge, people wouldn’t justify it. They’d take one look at what he’s done and go for his head,” Katrijn explained. 

“I guess that makes sense," Sam said after some thinking, " but now we’re back at square one. 

“Well, is there a more private place to use to talk? I don’t particularly think we should be talking about finding the infamous Winter Soldier in public like this,” Katrijn said. 

“Can we go back to your place Sam? Mine still has bullet holes in the wall” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, that’s fine, let’s go though.”

“Well boys,” Katrijn said and stood up, “Let’s go find ourselves a ghost.”


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks had passed since Sam and Katrijn met in that D.C. cafe, and they spent that time going over information on where Bucky may have gone. They weren’t getting very far with the information they had, and Steve wasn’t helping. He had to separate his time between looking for Bucky and Avengers tasks. As much as Steve wanted to help the two, he had to help the Avengers look for Loki’s scepter. No matter how long that took. 

“Ya know, Steve never mentioned you. The history books never really did either, except for talking about how you supposedly defected to Russia in 1983 and were killed then,” Sam said. The two were hunched over his kitchen table looking at news articles that could lead them to Bucky. 

“Well, the government wrote me out of the history books, only to turn me into a criminal, and Steve thought I was dead. I don’t blame him for never mentioning me, I wouldn’t if I was in his position.”

“How _are_ you alive?” Sam asked, emphasizing on the ‘are’, “Shouldn’t you be like 96?” 

“That, my friend, is a very long story, and I’m 95. I was born in 1919.” 

“I think we have the time Katrijn.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Start from the beginning then, that’s the best place,” Sam suggested. 

“Well, in that case. I guess the important part of my life starts in 1940 when I majorly screwed up…”

\-------- 

Adolf Hitler invaded Belgium, Luxemburg, and the Netherlands on the 10th of May 1940. I left my job as a nurse at The Brooklyn Hospital and enlisted into the United States Army Nursing Corps on the 13th of May 1940. I spent nearly two months working in the local department. It was simple work really. A constant cycle of checking on the reserve soldiers and paperwork. It was simple, but I wanted more. When I got the opportunity to do that, I almost messed up everything good in my life. 

While Europe fell into war and I enlisted in the army, I was in the process of planning a wedding with the love of my life. We were supposed to get married in August at the church his family went to every Sunday. It wasn’t going to be anything big either, we didn’t exactly have the money to go all out. We planned to only invite close friends and family, no more than 20 people. It was going to be perfect.

I walked towards the door of the apartment I share with my fiancé and best friend with thoughts for my wedding running through my head. I was hoping one of them made something for dinner as it was getting late and I didn’t want to have to cook. As I got closer I could hear voices behind the door. It sounded like my boys were arguing over who knows what. 

As I walked through the door I was greeted by the sight of my fiancé hovering over my best friend. They had multiple cuts and bruises, but Steve was by far worse off. Though both men looked as if they went a few rounds with Joe Louis. Which only meant one thing.

"This is the third time this week Stevie," I sighed as I walked over to inspect their injuries. 

"You should see the other guys," Steve joked, only to receive an elbow to the ribs.

"I know you're mad doll-"

"I'm not mad Buck," I said as I started cleaning and patching Steve's wounds, "I just don't see the need for you two, especially you Steven, to fight everyone who pisses you off."

"I don't think that's fair coming from you, Kate."

I knew I was being a hypocrite for nagging Steve for fighting, but at least I could defend myself and those around me. Steve.....really couldn’t. He usually caused more injuries and headaches for himself (and Bucky, or me, or both of us) when he tried to play the hero. None of us liked bullies, but Steve never knew his limits. I’m getting really off track, aren’t I? 

"How was work love?" Bucky asked in an attempt to change the subject. 

"It's pretty hectic. Everyone's been getting anxious since France surrendered."

"Britain is all Europe has left n- ow!" Steve started saying as I pressed a little too hard on the cut by his eye. 

“Sorry,” I muttered, “Please tell me you two have something for dinner?”

“Um...not exactly.” 

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself before saying, “It’s fine, I’ll make something quick.”

“Kate, you don’t have-”

“It’s fine Buck,” I said a little harsher than necessary. 

I turned my back to the two men and went to see what I could make for dinner, but I couldn’t get what Steve said out of my head. He was right. Great Britain, and I guess technically the Soviet Union, were the only countries keeping Germany from conquering Europe. I may have only lived in the Netherlands for ten years, but that country will always be home. It was a scary thought to think my birth home was invaded and destroyed, and America was just sitting on the sidelines, not joining the fight. Weapons and supplies can only do so much to help. 

I was also surprised Steve brought up the war, he knew exactly how I felt on the topic. Long before Germany invaded the Netherlands, I thought every country should be doing more. I hated sitting on the sides watching Germany take land that wasn’t theirs. I subconsciously touched my Magen David ( **Star of David** ) necklace as I pulled out what little meat we had left. I put that aside and grabbed the small stash of potatoes we had to begin cutting. 

I must not have been paying attention as I cut potatoes as I felt a sharp pain along my left thumb. I let out a sharp, “ verdomme ( **damn** )” and grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding. 

“Everything okay doll?” Bucky asked walking into the kitchen only to see me holding a towel to my hand muttering several other colorful words. “I’m going to go with no. Go get cleaned up Kate, I’ll finish in here.”

Despite my immediate protests, I left to clean my thumb and let Bucky finish the pork and potatoes I had planned. I only hoped he wouldn’t burn down the apartment building. I was almost on the streets one and didn’t want to flirt with that life again.

Thankfully Bucky did not burn the place down. He was actually quite the cook if you tell him exactly what to do. We sat at the small table in our kitchen to eat. It was nice to be surrounded by my family, it almost felt like old times. We were just a little older and missing a few key people in our lives.

After finishing our food, I grabbed the plates to take to the sink to wash and felt strong arms wrap around my waist. I leaned back against Bucky’s chest as he kissed my cheek and started whispering in my ear, “So I was thinking.”

I turned around to look him in the face and said, “That’s never a good thing.” 

“Hey,” he smacked my arm, “As I was saying, I was thinking about after our wedding we take a couple days to ourselves. Just the two of us. We could do that camping trip out in the country you keep talking about.” 

“I don’t know. Are you sure you’re up for roughing it city boy?”

“Watch who ya callin’ city boy,” Bucky said, emphasizing his Brooklyn accent, “Last I checked, you were born and raised in the city.”

“Maybe, but my Opa ( **grandfather** ) sure as hell didn’t raise me like that. Seriously though, I’d like that a lot, Buck.”

He leaned down slightly, I wasn’t that much shorter than him, to kiss me, “I think we both deserve a break.”

“We certainly do.” 

We finished our conversation and went about finishing cleaning the kitchen when Bucky grabbed a white envelope sitting near the small refrigerator. I forgot I set it there when I came home and didn’t have to call out “don’t touch that” before Bucky opened the already opened envelope. I watched in horror as he read the small paper inside. His previous cheery attitude deflated as he continued looking at the white paper. 

After a few tense minutes, he quietly said, “You’re leaving?” 

“Buck-”

“You’re leaving!”

“Kate, what is he talking about?”

"I'm leaving for London first thing tomorrow morning, and I don't know when I'll be back," I finally said after a few heartbeats. 

Steve was staring at me as if he didn’t have a clue as to what to say. Bucky didn't say anything, he just stood up from the table and walked out of the apartment. I should have expected some kind of negative reaction, but I at least expected him to stay something. Both men looked disappointed in me and it made my heart sink. I knew I had just hurt the two most important people in my life. 

The door closed with a slam, making it evident Bucky was beyond pissed. Steve stared at me for a few moments before quietly asking, “Were you ever going to tell us?” 

“I, I don’t know.”

“You’re really not helping your case Katrijn.” 

“Steve, you know why I have to do this. I should have given both of you more of a warning, but I didn’t. For that, I am so sorry,” I told him. 

“I know exactly why you have to leave, but you need to go talk to Bucky. He didn’t like the idea of you enlisting, and this just makes it worse,” Steve explained. With that, he stood up from the table, leaving me to my own devices.

I knew he was right, Steve usually was with this type of stuff. I sat there for a few minutes as I worked up the courage to go find Bucky and have a not so fun conversation. Eventually, I stood up and exited the apartment. I really hoped Bucky didn’t go far so that I didn’t have to search through Brooklyn for my fiancé. Thankfully, I didn’t have to search far as Bucky was sitting on the steps of the building. I sat down next to him and wanted to say something.

Bucky beat me to it. 

“Were you ever gonna tell us? Or were ya just gonna leave with a note?” 

“I was.”

“Then why wait so long?

“I get that you’re mad Bucky, but-” 

“You’re going to a warzone Kate! Do ya know what that means?” Bucky snapped. 

"Of course I do, I'm not stupid!" 

"It's not even your fight, and ya acting like it's personal. It's not Katrijn!" 

"Well, Hitler made it fucking personal James. What don't you understand about that? He invaded and bombed my home. You're acting like every other damn American!" I ranted, “I know you hated it when I joined the nursing corps, but what did you want me to do? My home was invaded and nearly destroyed, and this Goddamn country is just sitting on its ass. America, and everyone in it, is going to leave Europe to fend for themselves because this is a European problem, not an American problem. I'm going to try and save whatever is left of my home.” 

We stared at each other for a few heartbeats. I was too scared I'd either break or explode if I said anything. Bucky must have felt the same, as all he did was stare with a broken expression I couldn't place. His normal bright blue eyes were dark and stormy with anger and something else I didn’t recognize. In the midst of our arguing, Steve must have come outside because I could see his blonde hair out of the corner of my eye. 

After a few more breaths Bucky quietly said, "I thought Brooklyn was your home? I thought we were your family?"

There was desperation in his voice, but there was also anger. I couldn't help but let out a strained chuckle, "We all know I never belonged here. You were the only two to ever accept me." 

It was true. No one in this country cared if I lived or died, except Steve and Bucky, but they probably don’t care anymore either. To everyone in this country, I was just some young German girl, because they didn’t bother learning the difference between Germany and Holland, who didn’t want to forget her history and blend into society. To them, I was just a dirty “hyphenated America” that never assimilated into American society. 

We stood in silence as what I just said sat heavy in the air. Bucky and Steve both said something I didn't catch. I was in my own world. The ring on my left hand burned hot with realization. 

"-don’t keep secrets." 

"What?" I said, finally coming back to reality. 

"I thought we didn’t keep secrets in this relationship," Bucky said again. 

I loved Bucky Barnes with everything I had. I would defend and protect him even if it meant losing my life, but something became abundantly clear, 

I took a single, deep breath before quietly saying, "Then maybe we shouldn’t have one."

“What? What are you saying?” 

“Obviously we made a mistake. We’re too young for marriage and we rushed it because that’s what we were supposed to do. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be,” I said as I took off the ring. 

“You’re calling off the engagement?” Bucky asked. 

"I'm calling off the relationship, something obviously went wrong," I said placing the ring in Bucky's right hand, "I'm going to finish packing my one bag and then I'm going to spend the night at Mary's house. If either of you would like to see me off, I leave first thing tomorrow morning." 

I didn’t look at either man as I made my way back to the apartment and to the room I shared with my fiancé, well ex-fiancé now. 

"Ka-" Bucky tried to say, but I interrupted him. 

"Goodbye James."

\--------

“You and Barnes were going to get married?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah, had it all planned out and everything. Then I threw it away.” 

While Katrijn was telling Sam her story, the two went through several more files of information before deciding to take a break. Sam made them some lunch since he was a much better cook than Katrijn and they sat down to eat. Sam was a great listener and never interrupted Katrijn as she spoke, though she sometimes wished he did.

“So, let me get this straight. You broke up with your fiancé, who you loved very much, to go be a nurse in a war when America wasn’t fighting yet?” Sam clarified. 

“Germany attacked my home, I wasn’t dealing with that sitting down.”

“That’s fair. What happened when you got to England?”

“A whole slew of stuff. Didn’t really make any friends, but that was where I met Peggy Carter.” 

“That had to be an interesting meeting.”

“Oh, it was.” 


	3. Chapter 3

He had bright red hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen. He was so full of joy and life that infected everyone around him. He couldn't have been older than twenty-two. He took shrapnel from an explosion when the Luftwaffe bombed a British air-field. He grabbed my arm as I worked to save him. He was so scared to die. His name was William and I couldn't save him. 

William was the first soldier I couldn't save, and I couldn't get his face out of my head. 

The head nurse, Mary, said it was normal, but I don't completely believe her. I have seen people die before, some very close to me, I just couldn't grasp why I couldn't let go of William. It was only getting worse too. More soldiers who needed care kept coming in as the Luftwaffe kept bombing important areas of the British army. 

I feared for when they turned their bombs toward the cities. 

The air battles which later were collectively called the Battle of Britain began in July. Gaining air superiority was the only way Germany could attack British land. Though, accomplishing that feat proved to be more difficult than Hitler thought. These attacks by the German Air force led to busier times for the nurses. 

Breaks were few and far between for the nurses in the army corps. Most of my breaks were spent eating, sleeping, and reading the letters Steve sent to me. I only talked to a few other nurses as most kept their distance. The times I did speak with the other nurses was spent talking about home, our families, and comforting each other for every soldier we couldn't save. 

Two weeks following the William incident I lost another soldier. This one hit a little too close to home. The man's name was James. He had blonde hair that looked like straw was sitting on top of his head and he had the bluest eyes. All I could see was Steve, and it put me in a funk I couldn't get out of. 

I was in a haze for three days when I decided I needed to change my routine. Instead of heading towards the mess hall like I always do when I finish my shift, I went in the opposite direction. I hadn't been shown much of the compound we were in when I first arrived. They only showed me my living quarters, the mess hall, and the hospital, though, they never said everything else was off limits. So, to me that meant everything was fair game. 

After aimlessly wandering for a few minutes, I found a door that spiked my interest. This door didn't have any name plates like the previous doors. All I saw was black behind the frosted glass and when I went to turn the handle the door opened. So, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being watched I walked into the room and turned on the light. 

I was even more confused by what I saw. 

Along the walls were maps of all seven continuous, don't ask me why they needed one for Antarctica, and various European countries. I could see Germany, France, and Italy right away. I moved to the various boxes scattered across the room. Several of the larger boxes were filled with guns, they looked mostly like pistols, and ammunition. They looked to be mostly from the Great War from what I saw. I took one weapon and put a few bullets in just to keep in this room. 

Many of the smaller boxes were full of folders holding supposed classified information. Several of the larger folders caught my attention and I pulled them out to look. In total there were four folders I pulled out: HIVE, HYDRA, Johann Schmidt, and Abraham Erskine. I skimmed through them before landing on the thick folders labeled HYDRA and HIVE. 

I must have been too preoccupied looking at the information because I never heard anyone enter until I heard, "You're not supposed to be in here." 

In one fluid motion I grabbed the gun sitting next to me, turned to face the voice, and aimed the gun at said voice's person. I was met with a confused look on a woman's face. The woman had chocolate brown hair pulled into pin curls with striking milk chocolate eyes. A sharp contract from my own blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She carried herself with the confidence of a woman that didn't need someone's approval. There were a number of things I could have said to her that would have made sense in context. 

I said none of these things. "What's HYDRA?" 

"That would be classified, and again, you are not supposed to be in here." 

"If the army doesn't want people in these rooms, then they should really lock the doors" I said, moving the folders behind me. 

The woman smiled before asking, "You are one of the nurses from America, correct?" 

“Yes ma’am, a proud member of the United States Army Nurse Corps, and you would be?”

“Agent Margaret Carter, and you still never told me your name,” the woman, Margaret, said. 

“Katrijn Von Berg, agent.”

“Von Berg, is tha-”

“It’s Dutch. I was born in Rotterdam,” I interrupted, but it lacked the usual heat I put into my defense. My gut told me this woman was okay, she wasn’t going to have a problem with me. 

Margaret smiled before saying, “That was my second guess. Now, we should probably leave before someone with more power sees you in here.”

I nodded and exited the room with her, but not before shoving two of the folders under my shirt while Agent Carter’s back was turned. She didn’t say anything, so I assumed she hadn’t seen me do it. That, or she was just letting me take classified information. I’m not sure which was better. 

“Agent, eh? There’s not many women in that field, how did you get the position?” I asked, attempting to make small talk so she wouldn't notice I was walking weird. 

“My brother,” she said tensely. 

I knew when someone didn’t want to talk, so I dropped the subject and walked in silence. I tried to stay a step behind the other woman, and make sure my breathing was staying normal. As we approached the building I was staying in, I told Margaret, “This is my stop, it was nice meeting you.”

“You as well, and Katrijn, try to stay out of closed rooms from now on,” she laughed. 

“Of course. I’ll see you around then.”

“Have a good day.”

With that, Agent Carter kept walking and I was left on my own. I quickly walked up to the stairs to the room I shared with three other nurses. Thankfully, none of them were in the room, so I was free to look over the folders I stole from that room. I was only able to grab two, and I wasn’t sure which two I grabbed. 

Opening the first folder to see the name Johann Schmidt on the first page. I vaguely remembered a couple soldiers talking about him, but I didn’t know anything else about the man. The folder stated he was a high-ranking official in Germany’s secret police, the Schutzstaffel or SS. He was also mad. Schmidt believed the Norse gods existed and that their magic was here on Earth. 

He didn’t sound like someone I wanted to meet. 

The second folder was much thicker than Schmidt’s. I looked to find a name and saw in big, bold, black letters the word **HIVE**. According to the folder, HIVE was an organization created to bring back a person known as Alveus. He was the first ever inhuman, whatever those were, and Alveus was created by some organization or civilization known as Kree. 

Nothing in the folder made sense. It sounded like the aliens existed, or that this advanced civilization existed somewhere in the cosmos. If these advanced civilizations existed though, why did no one know about them. 

Then there was the connection to Schmidt. Somehow, the odd organization Schmidt created called HYDRA was connected to HIVE. I really wanted to go find Agent Carter and ask what all this meant, but she made it very clear I wasn't supposed to know any of this information. I decided it was best to forget all of this before I ended up in a strange world like Alice. 

I panicked when I heard voices nearing the door, and I knew my roommates were coming back. I quickly shoved every paper into the folder. I then placed those files under my mattress, praying to whatever was out there that no one could see them. I sat down on the bed to grab whatever book was on my nightstand just as the door opened. 

“Hi Katie, we were getting food if you wanted to come with us?” Elizabeth asked. 

“Sure, I’ll come,” I said as I tried to keep the annoyance of being called Katie out of my voice. 

I took one last glance at my bed before I exited, begging myself to forget everything I just read. Don’t go down that rabbit hole Katrijn. 

\--------

“You stole classified information?”

“Sam, you’ve known me for three weeks, are you really surprised?” Katrijn asked. 

“No, but did Peggy ever say if she saw you.”

“She did not, but it’s Peggy Carter, so she probably did.”

“What happened after that?”

“Well, the bombs kept dropping across England and…”

\--------

I split my time between London and Bletchley Park, just trying to help where I could. I was helping transport the most injured people out of London. We wanted to get them somewhere safe before London was bombed more. It also allowed me time to myself, or at least time away from the other nurses. They got on my nerves most days. 

While in Bletchley I organized supplies that would be transported throughout England. Most of the boxes went to military hospitals in the country where injured soldiers were kept away from the fighting. The remaining supplies were directed towards civilian hospitals and offices to treat those injured in the bombings. 

I was hunched over a box of medical supplies when I heard the voice of Agent Carter, "Katrijn, have you been here all day?"

Since our initial meeting where she caught me in that room I wasn’t supposed to be in, we started talking more. We somehow became good friends, despite our differencing career paths. We bonded our search for adventure and need to do something more with our lives. I'd almost call her family. Almost. 

"Um, what time is it?" I asked. 

"Nearly 19:00." 

"Then yes. I have been."

"Let's go get some food then," she offered. 

"I would take you up on that offer Margaret, but these supplies won't sort themselves." 

The other woman sighed, "I told you to call me Peggy, Katrijn." 

It might have just been me, but being given permission to call Margaret by her nickname gave me some joy. It was proof that our relationship was growing closer and she trusted me, but that was probably just my overthinking. 

I paused for half a minute before saying, "Call me Kate." 

"What."

"Call me Kate, it's, um, what my family calls me." 

Peggy smiled at that and said, "Let's go eat, Kate." 

Reluctantly, I put the rolls of gauze back into the box they shipped in. I checked the paper I was writing items and numbers on one last time and then followed Agent Carter, uh Peggy, out of the room. I was surprised when she walked past the common mess hall, as this was where we usually ate our meals. Instead, she walked several buildings down and entered there. 

The building must have been some sort of restaurant, but that didn't make sense. Almost every restaurant, diner, and bar were closed due to the bombings. I must have had a confused look on my face because Peggy said, "It's one of the few places still open." 

"Makes sense, just why here?" 

"I just thought we both deserve a break, so I'm treating the both of us." 

"You really don't ha-" 

"Kate, just don't." 

"Yes ma'am."

We made small talk before we got our food. Back home fish was a rare commodity as it was fairly expensive, and I never really liked it. However, I was not trying any of the mystery food offered by this place, so fish and chips it was. It didn’t take long into eating before Peggy asked a question I wasn't expecting, "You've made other friends right Kate?" 

"Yes, of course," I brushed off the question, only to have Peggy give me a skeptical look, "I don't make friends very easily." 

"So that's the reason you spend as little time with the other nurses as possible?" 

"Sure, it's just hard to relate to them. They have very different interests from me." 

She didn't buy it, then she asked the question I knew was the reason for this dinner, “What is bothering you Katrijn?”

“Call me Kate, and nothing is bothering me. Why would you think that?” I asked as I picked at the fries on my plate. 

“You’ve gotten quiet ever since the Luftwaffe started bombing London. Usually, you’re running your mouth and causing trouble for everyone. What is on your mind?” Peggy emphasized. 

I stuck a fry in my mouth to give me more time to think. I knew Peggy wouldn’t think any less of me if I toddler her the truth, after all, she was one of the few people who bothered to be nice to me. However, there were multiple things bothering, and I decided to tell the lesser of the two problems. 

I grabbed another fry and tapped it on my place before saying, “Did you know the morning of the day the Netherlands surrendered to Germany, the German army bombed the city of Rotterdam? Nearly 900 civilians were killed and the city was essentially flattened. The country surrendered later that day with their biggest industrial city destroyed.” 

Peggy pursed her lips before saying, “I wasn’t aware that many civilians died.”

“Most people seem to not know. God, I knew war was hell Peggy, but this, this is worse. At least the innocent, women, and children don’t wind up in Hell. Now, Germany is doing the same thing to London. It’s not right.” 

“We’re in a new era of technology and war. I’m not sure if we can ever go back.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of Peggy.” 

We sat in silence, neither of us sure as to what of our short conversation. After a few minutes of silence, and after paying for our food, we decided to make the trip back to our living quarters. Peggy made me promise (see threatened me) to not go back to the storage room. She said I needed to rest to something like that. 

I only listened because Agent Peggy Carter scares me.

\--------

Katrijn looked at the time as she finished her last sentence and nearly bolted out the door, “Shit, I was supposed to meet Steve twenty minutes ago.”

“You can leave Katrijn.”

“Let’s continue this conversation later,” Katrijn said as she made her way to the front door. 

“You better, Von Berg.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sam Wilson locked his car then walked to his front door. He was exhausted after his day at the VA. Nightmares had kept him up most of the night, but he still put on a smile in hopes of helping another healing soldier live another day. Sam vaguely noticed his door wasn't locked as he put the key in, but brushed it off as not being fully awake that morning. He did pause the entrance of his door, however, when he heard voices coming from his kitchen. 

He didn't have a weapon in his vanity, so Sam grabbed the bowl he usually sticks his keys in. At least it could be thrown at the intruders. Sam slowly made his way to the kitchen area, careful not to make any noises. As he stepped into the kitchen entrance, the bowl raised and ready to be thrown, only to stop. 

Sitting at his kitchen table looking at files and arguing were Steve and Katrijn. Sam lowered his arm and slouched against the wall. He had many questions for the super-soldier and Dutchwoman, and he wasn't sure which he wanted to ask. He settled for, "How the hell did you two get in my house?" 

"Hey Sammie," Katrijn said, not looking up from the map spread out amongst the files. 

"Hi Sam," Steve said, looking up to face the other man, "Kate said you gave her a key so we could work out of your place." 

"Do not call me Sammie, Katrijn," Sam told her, then turned his attention to Steve, "I never gave her a key." 

"Katrijn," Steve said slowly, "Did you break us into Sam’s house?" 

"Well Stevie, if I told you I was breaking into Wilson's house, that moral compass of yours would have had us waiting till he got back. Also Sammie, you should really invest in better security measures. There's dangerous people in this world." 

"Yeah, and you're one of them Van Berg," Sam grumbled and reached for a drink from his fridge. 

"Damn right I am." 

Sam walked over to the table and looked over Katrijn's shoulder. Spread across the table was a map of Europe, with several cities already crossed out. There didn’t seem to be any explanation for the specific cities being ignored. Most of the crossed out cities were situated in the World War II German Empire, but a few cities in Russia and Great Britain were crossed out as well. 

Steve noticed Sam’s confused look at the map, so he offered an explanation, “These are the known HYDRA bases from 1940 till today. Kate thinks Bucky would do everything to avoid these cities, but she also thinks he has left America already. Hence, the Europe map.” 

“That makes sense,” Sam said, “But Europe is still a lot of ground to cover.” 

“Baby steps Samuel, baby steps,” Katrijn spoke as she made a few more notes on a pad of paper. She looked deep in thought but then asked, “You don’t think he would have gone to Rotterdam, do you, Steve?” 

“If he remembered you, that would be a good place to go Kate,” Steve answered. 

“Well, if we’re looking at stuff related to me, then we have to look at North Africa too.” 

“Why?” Sam asked, just as confused as Steve. 

“Because that’s where I stopped being a nurse and got into spy work, and subsequently put in way more danger.” 

“Yeah, how did you make that transition? I never heard that story?” Steve asked. 

“When did you leave England,” Sam asked at the same time. 

Steve offered a very confused look, and Katrijn quickly added, “I’ve been telling Sam my war stories. We’ve gotten to me meeting Peggy in England, so not very far.” 

“Oh, so Sam gets to hear all of your stories and I just get ‘shut up Steve’,” Steve whined. 

“Would ya shut ya trap Rogers? Late 1940 to answer your question Sam.”

“So, how did you go from nurse to agent?” Sam asked. 

“Well, it started in early 1941, when Italian forces attacked the field hospital I was working…”

\--------

“Why is this happening?”

“I don’t know.”

“I thought the Geneva Conventions made attacking a field hospital a war crime.”

“Elizabeth,” I snapped, “Do you honestly expect Fascists to follow laws made in something like the Geneva Conventions.”

She was quiet for a moment as we moved one of the more injured soldiers to a stretcher to be moved, “No.”

It was organized chaos as nurses and doctors alike tried to move soldiers to a more secure location. We got as many severely injured soldiers into ambulances to be moved to evacuation hospitals farther behind our line. The soldiers that couldn’t be moved were placed in a more secure location within the hospital.

One of the soldiers, Private Charles King, grabbed my arm as I walked past him. Private King was one of those soldiers that weren’t prioritized to be sent to the evacuation hospital but also weren’t physically able to take up arms to defend this place.

“What is going on?” He asked in an Australian accent and gestured to the rifle sitting by his bed another soldier must have brought him.

I debated on if I should tell him the truth, and I almost didn’t, but I decided he had a right to know what was going on, “A small group of Italian forces was spotted heading our way. We are preparing for a possible attack.”

“I thought it was a war crime to attack a field hospital.”

“Italy aligned themselves with Fascist Germany, what did you expect?”

He didn’t get a chance to respond as we both jumped at the sound of a gun going off. I couldn’t tell if it came from one of our guns or the other soldiers. We looked at each other for a second until another gun fired, clearly from the invading Italians. Private King would not be able to move fast enough to find a more secure shelter, so I pulled two metal tables on their sides and helped him to the ground.

We could hear yells of commanding officers giving orders to their soldiers, and the screams of nurses who never signed up to be directly in the firefight. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Private King attempting to pick up the rifle left near his bed. I knew he would never be able to hold and shoot the weapon, so I took it out of his hands.

Upon inspection, I saw that the rifle was a Lee-Enfield rifle. It had been used by the British Empire and its Commonwealth nations for a few decades now, and it was a gun I had shot before. So, I knew exactly how to use it. I checked to see how much ammunition I had and saw it had a full magazine.

The gunfire was getting louder, so I knew the invading Italians were close, if not already, at the field hospital. Private King was staring at me as I fiddled with the rifle I swiped from his hands. I knew he was thinking I was mad, and maybe I was.

I looked at the soldier and said, “Stay here. I’m going to see how it is out there.”

“Do you know how to work that?”

“Of course,” I said and walked out of our makeshift shelter towards the gunfire.

I looked out from the medical tent to chaos. It was easy to see who was an Italian soldier and who was a British Commonwealth soldier. The tan uniforms of the Italian forces moved with some semblance of order, while the scrambled soldier of the commonwealth tried to hold them off. I kept my head down to avoid being seen as I made a plan.

Well, part of a plan.

Two Italian soldiers were heading towards the tent I was in. I steadied my breathing, just as my Opa taught me, and brought the rife up so the butt of the gun was in line with my right shoulder. My eyes were trained on the two soldiers as they had yet to notice me. My finger hovered over the trigger as the soldiers got closer.

The soldiers got closer and I must have moved slightly because the next thing I heard was, "Fermare." ( **Stop** )

I wasn't sure what it meant, but I wasn't going to wait and see. In a race against the Italian soldiers, I got the first shots fired off. The soldiers dropped like a bag of bricks and my attention turned to more Italian soldiers looking towards me.

I turned back into the tent to gather my thoughts. I saw Elizabeth and another soldier that I didn't know had joined Private King. Elizabeth was looking over the private as he had tried to stand while I was preoccupied. I kept one ear on the fighting outside and turned the rest of my attention to three people.

"You really should not be standing private," I said and looked at the other man, “and you are?”

“Lance Corporal Benjamin Walker, ma’am, and you should give that rifle back to Charlie.”

“That’s not going to happen, lance corporal. Private King would not be able to hold the gun, let alone shoot it. I’ll keep the rifle for now if that’s alright with you.”

As I was talking I saw three Italian soldiers had noticed something with the tent we were in. They were walking in our direction and I put myself in between Elizabeth and the door. Then I let off four shots and the soldiers dropped to the ground. The others noticed my actions and turned to see exactly what happened.

“I think you should let the woman keep the rifle,” Elizabeth said.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?" Private King asked.

"Outskirts of Rotterdam," I answered, "We need to get out of here, pick up any stragglers and get Private King and Elizabeth out of here."

"How do you suggest we do that?" Lance Corporal Walker asked.

"We stay on the outskirts. Use the different tents as cover. Stay low and move quickly. Don't be afraid to shoot anyone that gets in the way."

\--------

“And you guys call me the irresponsible one.”

“Shut up Steve!” 

“This still doesn’t explain how you got to be a spy, Katrijn,” Sam said, though he was very intrigued by the story. 

“I was getting there.” 

\--------

Things around the field hospital have only calmed down slightly three days following the attack. The camp is still reeling from the attack. We lost two nurses and 5 soldiers, with a dozen more injured. The camp moved back 20 kilometers towards Egypt and care started again. We were expected to act as if nothing had changed, as if we hadn’t just been attacked. Which Elizabeth was right, was a war crime.

I tried to act as if nothing changed, but my senses were still set to 15. I was always looking over my shoulder while caring for injured soldiers, or I jumped at any loud noise in camp. I realized this is what war did to you. As a combatant, you deal with stuff an average person never would deal with, but you’re expected to act as if everything was fine. It reminded me so much of Bucky’s uncle I was told about.

Theodore Barnes left America to fight in the Great War in 1917. He made it home, but he left a little piece of him back in Europe. He was always looking over his shoulder, he jumped at any loud noise, it was like his senses were set at 15 and couldn’t go down. He was sent to Bloomingdale Insane Asylum in 1925 and no one had heard from him since.

I must have let my guard down or was too deep in thought. I felt someone grab my arm and say my name, and instead of turning around, I lashed out. I pulled the mystery hand off my arm, grabbed the person's throat, spun around, and pressed the person against the table I was next to. It took me several moments to realize it was Lance Corporal Walker who grabbed my arm.

"Um...sorry."

“Nice reflexes, Nurse Von Berg. Colonel Adams would like to see you.”

I was very confused as I walked to the colonel’s tent. I was fully expecting to get reprimanded for actions during the attack. It wouldn’t have been a surprise if I received some form of punishment for the clear disobedience of my superiors. To say I was surprised by what actually happened would be an understatement.

I walked into the tent to see Private King and Nora standing by the colonel. “I’m happy to see you, Katrijn.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Private Charles was just telling us how you were able to keep him safe during the attack while he could not defend himself. It got us thinking about this position we’ve been looking to fill, but haven’t found the right individual yet. We also believe a woman would be much better at the job than a man,” Colonel Adams explained.

“What exactly is this position?” I finally asked.

“Essentially, spy work. We need someone who can get behind enemy lines and gather information. You, Katrijn, are the perfect candidate.”

I smiled after Colonel Adams explained what I would be doing, and I realized it was exactly why I came to Europe. This was my chance to do something more with my life and help end this war before more people got hurt and killed.

With a half-smirk on my face, I said, “Sure, why the hell not.” 

\--------

“Why don’t kids learn about you in history books?” Sam asked, after listening to Katrijn. 

“White men have written those books for decades,” Katrijn said, “Plus the government didn’t want people to learn about me.” 

“That’s messed up,” Steve said. 

“People have a right to know what happened.”

“Tell that to the political leaders of the world,” Katrijn sighed. 

“I wanted to go talk to the leaders in D.C. when I saw your file saying you sold information to the Soviets.”

“I’m sure you would have burnt that place to the ground,” Katrijn said while looking at some papers scattered on the table. 

“The public deserves to know the truth!” Steve almost yelled. 

“Good thing you didn’t do that, because then you would have died,” Katrijn let slip. 

“What!” 

“Uh, we’ll get to that eventually, but in the meantime we should probably keep trying to find a city to start looking for Bucky,” Katrijn quickly changed the subject. 

“Back to work then.” 


End file.
